hurt.. hurt.. hurt..
Just got back home from Sentosa. I had a long cry man. I feel soOoOo much better after this shit. People on the street must be thinking i'm crazy. Yea.. i am. I'm so crazy over you. *sigh* You asked me to go to catch your gig. You said i MUST go. Well, i took off, just to go there to see how intimate you were with her. It sucks. I don't hate you. Neither do i hate her. Dira, such a sweet and nice girl, i won't hate her. I just plainly hate myself. I do, i really do. WEll, went there to see SOL's performance. Not bad at all. Stole a few glances at Russ and everytime i looked at him, he's looking at Dira, those winks and everything, it WAS all once for me, but now, no longer. Saw Russ' parents, didn't even looked at them, i was scared. They didn't liked me. Well, things have changed. After their performance, Sary and I went to slack somewhere. That's when we get emo. Girls.. Girls.. always act strong in front of everyone but we're hurting so much inside. Well, i nearly cried when he and dira were right in front of me, cuddling, whispering into each other's ear. *ouch* I'm jealous! - i can't deny. I held back those tears, definately. I guess Mad see through it for a while. He's like, "you cried ar?" and i just said no. Well, i've to fake a smile for soOoO long. Well, i did it. Then Shane, extra extra, wanna go home together with me. SOoOo held those tears back. Till he got off the train, i started those shit. and finally, in the bus, tears rolled down. People were looking at me but who cares? Ask russ, if he even did realise i was there? did he even notice me? Pain.. real pain in the heart. I guess they are cuddling, making out right now, at this very moment. I'm sorry!! I'm just being emo la. Oh god! Who am i saying sorry to? Russ.. why did i ever let you go? or should i say, why did i ever got together with you? Love, a simple four-letter word yet the meaning is so complicating. I don't know what is it, i really don't know. It've been coming 6 months, why aint you out of my heart, out of my mind yet? Man.. i'm such a loser.
With love, on Friday, December 02, 2005
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
